


nothing breaks like a heart

by sunnylemonss



Series: the trials and troubles of loving and being loved [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Broken Hearts, Gen, Kinda fluff, Late at Night, No beta we die like Sunset Curve, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28705209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnylemonss/pseuds/sunnylemonss
Summary: It was two in the morning on a random Tuesday and Alex still hadn’t fallen asleep. He had tried for hours--drinking warm milk, playing instrumental music, counting sheep--but nothing was working. His mind was racing too fast, stuck on one thought (or, rather, person): Willie.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: the trials and troubles of loving and being loved [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104182
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	nothing breaks like a heart

**Author's Note:**

> companion fic to "angels like you can't fly down here with me"  
> yes, this title is also from a miley cyrus song. sue me

It was two in the morning on a random Tuesday and Alex still hadn’t fallen asleep. He had tried for hours--drinking warm milk, playing instrumental music, counting sheep--but nothing was working. His mind was racing too fast, stuck on one thought (or, rather, person): Willie. 

Alex had eyes, he could see that his boyfriend was struggling. He knew, from the few deep, existential conversations that they had managed to have so far, that Willie didn’t have the best parents and they had a tendency to say some pretty hurtful things to their son. (Which absolutely infuriated Alex, and the only thing stopping him from marching to their house and telling them what for was that Willie didn’t like fighting, and Alex _hated_ upsetting Willie.) Every time Willie stopped himself in the middle of rambling or hesitated to initiate physical contact, Alex felt burning hatred for the adults who were supposed to love Willie above all else, but who, instead, showed him scorn and treated him like an unwanted object. 

Alex tried his hardest to make Willie feel included and loved, tried his best to be kind and gentle, holding back sarcastic comments that he would’ve made with anyone else and constantly checking that his body language wasn’t closed off. Unfortunately, it seemed to have the opposite effect. Willie, catching on to Alex’s actions, closed off more and Alex was at a loss. When he confronted Willie about it, the other boy admitted that it felt like Alex was babying him, and “you don’t need to treat me like I’m made of glass, Alex.” So Alex had backed off, as much as it pained him to, because he respected Willie and wanted to prove that he could listen to and respect his boundaries. Because Alex was so, so in love with Willie, and was willing to do whatever it took to show that.

They had met in a rather unconventional way: Alex had been walking across the football field after school, because it was a shortcut to get to his house, and he hadn’t been paying attention at all. Willie had been laying in the middle of the field, napping, but was woken up when Alex tripped over him. Alex had gone down with an undignified squeak, landing on the ground next to the other boy. Willie had taken one look at Alex’s flustered appearance and burst out laughing, and it was the most beautiful sound Alex had ever heard. After Willie had finally stopped laughing, Alex tried to apologize, but his then-future boyfriend had brushed him off, claiming it was his fault and that he shouldn’t have been sleeping in the middle of the football field. Feeling awkward, Alex had nodded quietly before deciding _screw it_ and starting up a conversation.

They had sat in the middle of the field and talked for hours, losing track of time until Alex had looked up from Willie’s mesmerising eyes and realized that the sun had set completely and he was _so late_ for dinner and his mom was going to _kill him._ He hated to end their conversation, but Willie had been understanding and wrote his number on Alex’s arm before he took his leave. 

Alex had it memorized before he even got halfway home.

Hundreds of texts, a handful of phone calls, a few lunches together and three months later, Alex stood in front of Willie, hands shaking, voice trembling, heart pounding, and asked him to be his boyfriend. Willie had looked at the ground for a heart-stopping moment before he looked back up, cheeks painted pink, and nodded shyly. Alex had let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and grinned like an idiot. 

Their first kiss was three weeks after that, and Alex said “I love you” for the first time a month after that. His friends told him he was moving too fast, getting too invested in a high school relationship. They were probably right, but they had all graduated two months ago and he and Willie were still going strong, so _take that, Luke._

And yet here Alex was, two in the morning on a random Tuesday and unable to sleep because he was so in love with someone who was hurting so bad. Alex heaved out a sigh and rolled onto his side just in time to see his phone light up with a text from where it was lying face up on his nightstand. Wondering who could be texting him at such an hour, Alex picked it up, smiling when he saw it was from the very person he was thinking about. The smile slipped off his face when he read the text.

_Alex I love you so so much and I’m so so sorry that I’m not enough for you. I wasn’t enough for my parents or friends or teachers or anyone and I let myself think I could be enough for you but I’m not. You need someone to lift you up, not bring you down. It’s not your fault I ruin everything and it’s not your fault I can’t be what you need, but angels like you can’t fly down here with me. I’m sorry baby, but I’m not going to let myself continue to ruin everything good you have going on. I love you._

Alex felt his heart drop into his stomach and his hands start to shake. He quickly pressed the call button and swore quietly when he was sent straight to voicemail. He hit redial faster than he could blink, and swore a little more violently when he was again sent straight to voicemail. He tried to call his boyfriend a third time, but stared down at his phone in disbelief as a notification popped up: _The number you’re trying to call doesn’t exist._ His breath stalled in his chest and tears blurred his vision. No, no, no, no, no, no, _nonononononono._ He tried to hit the call button again, but his hands were shaking so bad that he dropped his phone on the floor. 

Alex stood up and started pacing his room, legs unsteady and breath wobbling. After a few passes, he went to his window and opened it to lean against the sill and take a few deep breaths. He stared up at the stars and his tears fell down, down, down into the world below him.

**Author's Note:**

> haha sorry? (x2)  
> comments and kudos are much appreciated!  
> come yell at me on tumblr @sunnylemonss


End file.
